One Crazy Year.

2016.

So many things happened, but above all, I'm grateful.

Last year, in the end of 2015, I felt already like 2016 is gonna be brutal. There will be so many things ahead that I gotta take care of. At that time, I was on my very comfort zone, where I most-likely wouldn't go down on challenges, but also couldn't progress anything better.

2016 started calmly as I managed myself to understand school subjects, while doing dota tournaments and having to pay attention to my gf. Actually it was a hard time but I'd rather enjoy it than showing some stress and complaining every little things.

But then things started to get complicated. I got rejected on SNMPTN (kind of a direct invitation to study on a public universities) which is a little bit weighting my mind too much, because that some of my cousin and friends were passing that shitty-thingy. So then I started to doubt myself if I can make it to the public universities through the written test remembering that I am still so far away behind my friends. But my mom was always pumping me up, telling me that I am great and I can do it, and I realized that mom and dad was working hard to support me all the way, so I should at least try to make it through on my own way.

And so, somehow as I have the will to study, everything became easier (probably). I started to understand the subjects so that I can use my time as efficient as possible. Well maybe I seemed cocky but that's the truth. My grade turned out great, leaving a big smile on my face. Although there were problems on my life, I tried to left it be at the time. I stood even those problems are soo annoying.

After months of struggling, I somehow managed to pass into 2 public universities and an administrative academy. I was very happy and confused at the same time. Indeed I can choose any of those as I like, but It was so stressful that each option has their plus and minus side. I argued with my father that he wants me to choose the nuclear engineering degree, but on the other side I prefer choosing Information Systems degree, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't pick the nuclear one. It was soo confusingg like hell. Aaaand after one hella month I decided to choose Information Systems as my study course, and continue to chase the dream I always have.

Me and my gf went to a different university as she choose the path as a vet. After some time, we broke up because of some reasons I don't want to put on this post. But one thing is that I want her to have somebody taking care of her in realtime, 24/7 and take action if something's happened. I am glad that now she has a new guy and I am freed of that kind of responsibility that took almost my whole time. In other words, I am free to play dota. Yay!

And later (or probably earlier) there was this girl that got me interested and curious. But after some time I realized that I couldn't chase her (I didn't make even a single move tho, lol) but the way I see her now is different than the way I see everyone before her, and that makes me more interested. I think it'd be nice if I can catch up with her, but I feel like it's better this way. I wish happiness is always upon you, because that makes me smile too, is what I feel. She became my inspiration and courage to do better, eventho I can only look her from these pixels.

And I finally feel what it's like to be a college student. It's so different from being a student tho, and I am glad that there's someone who perhaps will always be there for me in any situation in my college life. I always having difficulties adapting into a new environment, and thanks to my this someone that I can adapt pretty quickly, I think. One thing is that I'm lacking diligency, and that is a real bother. Hopefully I will get rid of it in 2017. Amen.

I really have so much to tell, but hey, it's the end of 2016. I am very sorry that I made mistakes upon this year, I did things that aren't really necessary, and I disappoint lots of people. Nonetheless, I am very grateful to have go through this year. It is a game changer for me, for a better me, and perhaps for better you. I am going to try harder in 2017, and show the world that I can, that I am one of the best, and that I am useful and helpful to others.

Hello, 2017.